This is a place for me to add additional commentary. Commentary begins at the writing of the original document on Google Docs (March 22, 2020) with all of the comments I made myself in recent edits. Each commentary will include the date at which it was written, and may contain excerpts from previous versions of entries on the website alongside how it has changed and why. The updates and commentary page may also be used for personal messages to those viewing this website. Updates will likely be infrequent.
9-25-2022
CHRIST ON A STICK.
That took forever to get done, I feel like i've been working on this website for hours.
It's still extremely barebones at the moment, but I have a number of goals I'd like to meet eventually:
1) Fix the errors in the original document.
I should've done this before I even made the website, but I sort of wanted to get the format figured out and decided to slap the old document in exactly as is. Before I do anything else on this list, I have to rewrite the entire document. My memory is exactly as it's always been (trash), so I think a lot of the dates are inaccurate. I'm going to make an excel spreadsheet and try and get everything in a concise and probable order. I've only started writing this later in my life, so I can't remember a lot of the early on details. Most data from before 2020 is going to be shoddy at best.
2) Have reference photos for my dreamhubs
I've been meaning to make more accurate visual representations of my dreamhubs for a while now, and I think some concept sketches of what I remember of them might help readers who visit my website understand what i'm attempting to communicate with this project. Also, some of these things are difficult to describe with words.
3) Give each Dreamhub its own page
This would just be so much neater and allow me to extend the information I have for each dreamhub, possibly even rewriting the very bare-bones document I created at the start of quarantine. I might also like to move the updates section across all of these pages, or sort updates by dreamhub vs. personal to make it easier to access this information in an organized manner.
9-30-2022
After a long time of comparing dates and life events, I've finally got every dream hub of mine onto its own individual page. I'm not exactly good at hypertext or stylesheets, so the listing is still a little ugly, but that can be improved later. for now, I just needed separate pages for each dreamhub. I was a little more organized with the placement of information in my second rewrite, and also a little bit more descriptive. This made each entry exceptionally longer and segmented, which I felt was visually overstimulating when all entries were patched together. I'm looking to make my website as accessible as I can make it. For that reason, comments and recommendations are appreciated.
I'm going to focus on making a stylesheet that is more complementary to a dark theme later in the future, and when I begin to add images, I will be sure to add alternate text both as a caption and within the entity itself for use with screen readers. Besides those goals, the only remaining plan is t finish the reference photos for each dreamhub, clean them up, and post them as a gallery atlife event table. I made an excellent sheet and marked down each year of my life along with some significant occurances and each of my graduating grades for that year- I had to resort to math to figure out my graduation years, actually. I swear I remember my dreams more vividly than I do real life, but I digress.
I realized as I was making the chart that many significant life events lines up with the creation of my Dreamhubs. My running theory is that these dreamhubs might be a coping mechanism when faced with stress or change. It would not be unusual- As a maladaptive daydreamer, I have a very vivid imagination and prefer to retreat into myself when stressed. The only issue I have with this theory regards dreamhubs such as The Lab and The Labyrinth, which are more stressful than they are helpful. I wonder what it is that my mind is attempting to process with these.
10-23-2022
I've been spending so much time on these illustrations, yet I haven't been able to finish them. I've gotten everything finished for the mall, which I may upload tonight or tomorrow, but I just have not had the energy to do the rest. Especially because most of the other illustrations are more complicated in color or shape- just thinking about drawing all of the automotive parts in the Junkyard is making me tired.
I've actually been especially busy at the moment when I'm not working on this website. Work has been a lot- I picked up a few more hours to make the rent work, and also to try and save something nice for myself. My savings in general have been gutted since i'm trying to apply for SSI (disability). I just dropped about $400 up front for wisdom tooth extraction as well, which is taking all my time an energy to manage.
All in all, I haven't had much time for this website. To be honest, not much changes for a long time- my feedback rate is hardly timely. I have to wait a good 16 hours just for a chance at getting back into my dreamworld, and I actually struggle to remember to write down my dreams. Most of this is based on memory, but even I know that memories about dreams aren't exactly valid past a certain point. This is just what i've managed to write essentially as soon as I wake up. If it's been more than a day, I just kind of assume it's not worth writing down- hence why it's taken me so many years just to get what I have.
I've also been doing some more thinking about the life events that line up with the creation of some of my dreamhubs. Once I'm finished recovering and I'm a bit more settled financially, i'm going to try and add sections theorizing about how dreamhubs pertain to real life at the end of each page where applicable. I'm also considering dropping a couple bucks to spread the word about this website both in person and online. I really need to get it out there to see if anyone else has a similar experience- I feel a bit like i'm going mad by myself out here any time i'm asleep.
2-21-2023
God. I absolutely dropped this project again. I feel a little bit like i've been losing time- college applications, transcripts, work... my own art studies. Still haven't finished the illustrations. Of course, I finally got a higher dose of concerta, so maybe I can get around to finishing those or even making new ones. It's not like they have to be good. Plus, I got a drawing tablet for christmas and downloaded krita. I could just do them on my computer and upload them right away. I'll do that after I write this update.
I made an account on Tiktok- you can find it at @dreamhubproject, but there's not really any information on there that you won't find on here. I just post videos on popular sounds to try and get more recognition for this project. I have received a few emails, but none of them really reach the criteria i'm thinking of. Then again, the criteria may be too strict... but I'm trying to set apart how my experiences are different from the usual ones. I'm also going to make that sideblog on Tumblr and blaze a post about my website, but i'm kind of worried it won't be taken seriously due to tumblr's significantly more lax userbase (to put it nicely). I will not stoop to reddit, however.
I have thought about a Non dreamhub section to write about dreams I have that aren't in my dreamhubs. It's worth it to write them down, clarify what makes them a dreamhub and what doesn't- or newly emerging dreamhubs may begin from filler dreams. I should keep more notes just in case. I'll make a dream journal page later.
In the mean time, I haven't really been able to access my dreamworld for the past month or so. It's worrying me. This has never really happened before, except for prolonged periods of depression just before the pandemic. I hope it's temporary, and doesn't mean anything bad.
2-24-2023
Okay, the tumblr blaze campaign was fairly successful compared to any other attempts at advertisement i've done. I did recieve an anonymous message that this project may be potentially triggering to those with delusions, so i'm going to edit the site and my tumblr blog to reflect that.I have managed to get in contact with about three people, one of which appears to have experiences very similar to my own. I am currently waiting to hear back from them regarding the way they classify their dreamhubs, and they may or may not be published depending on what my contact allows me to do with that information.
I wrote down a few more of my ideas about dreamworlds in a separate page and added a navigation link to the bar above (general discussion and non-hub dreams). There are no non-hub dreams listed as of yet, but once I finish sorting them out and what criteria of dreamhubs they DO meet, they will be added.
3-9-2023
I've heard back from a lot of people regarding their experiences with dreams, and even had an interview with one individual from across the pond. I haven't found anyone else who fits my dreaming system to a T, but it could be that these things are a lot more varied than usual- it very well could be the way I go about things. Either way, there are a few more things I want to pay attention to.
The first, and slightly less important, is smell. A submission from Gia recounted that many of their dreams had similar smells that especially stood out to them. Specifically, their dreams often smelled of cigarettes. I took careful note of this because I've always been pretty aware of how my dreams smell, too. I may actually go back and add a smell profile to each dreamhub page- and I'm going to see if I can't ore accurately pinpoint some of them in my waking life. I asked my interviewee Dave about this in a zoom call, and he said mentioned that on further examination, he found it strange that he hadn't smelled anything in his deams: that smell was one of his stronger senses (as it is mine).
The second is the possible influence of antidepressants on dream activity. Many people I have spoken to experience increase in unusual dream activity or change in the quality of their dreams after recieveing prescription serotonin(and/or norepinephrine) reuptake inhibitors- some various examples being cilatopram, venlafaxine, fluoxetine, and mirtazapine. This is interesting to me, and has spawned something of an investion into the role that serotonin plays in dreaming.
I am going to try something. I'd like to preface this with a warning that nobody should, under any circumstances, take prescription medication in a way that is not prescribed to their doctor. I, however, am a hypocrite- and more importantly, forgetful. After a pretty bad bout of mental health last year, I have an excess of fluoxetine that could possibly be used for a personal clinical trial on the effects of serotonin on dreaming.
I may make another page on the effects of serotonin on dreaming specifically, adding not only my observations from this personal experiment of mine but also a host of other sources on the symptoms and side effects of excess serotonin. I also have to do some considerable research into serotonin syndrome to make sure I don't end up fuckin poisoning myself here (apologies for the informal language). So, you know... two birds with one stone.